Lieutenant Dan, ice cream.
My last wife was 47 years older than me.”
“47 years???”
“Yep. We met when she was 80 and I was 33. She came to the nursing home where I worked, and everyday she would spend six hours with her dying husband. I said to myself: ‘If she ever loves me like that, I’ll be OK.’ We married a couple years later, and stayed together until she died at the age of 96. If I had any money, I’d make a movie about it.”
lol oh tchaikovsky
tchaikovsky whta r u doing
tchaikovsky wat the fcuk is ur problem
TCHAIKOVSKY STAHP
The url of the person who posted this makes this so much funnier.
‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’
what if i cut off your left leg
would that make you stronger
would it
Finally the Monty Python fandom awakens
We were never asleep, we’ve just been out trying to find the right shubbery.
Nobody was expecting us
Oh, god, Monty Python spam…
Shout out to all the religious kids who keep their beliefs to themselves in the middle of science class.
shout out also to the atheists who don’t shit on everyone else’s beliefs “because science”
shout out to all the people who understand that it’s possible to be religious and still believe in science
BLESS^
MICROSOFT WORD HAS A FUCKING “INSERT CITATION” BUTTON WHY THE FUCK DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME THIS IS SIGNIFICANT INFORMATION FUCK THE SCHOOL SYSTEM THIS IS MICROSOFT WORD 2007 I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MADE AWARE OF THIS IN HIGHSCHOOL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I HATE EVERYTHING
you can fucking log your sources into your document and then at the end press a fucking button and it makes a bibliography page for you im
im not even lying im so mad
“Miss. Honey was a wonderful teacher and a friend to everyone. But her life was not as simple and as beautiful as it seemed. Miss. Honey had a deep dark secret. Though it caused her great pain, she did not let it interfere with her teaching.”
whats behind that blurred spot? is it a toaster? is it a gun? is it bill cosby?
I have so many people ask me what a tattoo of the moon could possibly mean to me and it angers me so much. In 2 years I have gone from being the happiest person I have ever known, to somebody that felt unworthy of living, and I’m almost back to that happy girl again. Change. Everything changes. Family, friends, hobbies, interests, priorities, feelings. Everything. My parents went from being the light of my life, to the reason why I despised myself, and now I can’t go a day without telling them I love them. Whilst they aren’t always in my view, and they are constantly changing, they always end up they way they were in the beginning. So I could get this whole paragraph tattooed on my leg or I could get the phases of the moon. My tattoo is a reminder, it’s my sense of comfort, it’s my surety that in the end, everything will be okay.
YOU GET IT HOLY HELL I LOVE YOU
